*clears throat* I just wanna clarify, I never planned on writing this….
but the lord moving thru me.
It’s been over a week now since the proverbial return of Christ and the resurgence of the new scripture of which we should abide. So I thought enough time has passed for me to be able to give you my take on each chapter in this biblical work we have come to know as Dirty Sprite 2.
Track 1: Thought it was a Drought
In 2014 Activas announced the discontinuation of their widely acclaimed product. Prices went up, stocks went dry. But here we are a year later and Future still boasts ample amounts of that purple stuff like he makes the shit. One of two things are happening here, either he has a lifetime supply of codeine which Activas still has an obligation to honor because of a withstanding contract, or more plausibly… Future is our lord and savior turning water into lean.
The most disturbing lyrics in this song are “I just took a piss and I seen codeine coming out” fam. Nobody checking to see if this nigga okay? I been all over web MD and apparently Future not even supposed to be alive right now.
Track 2: Serve the Base
When you listening to DS2 for the first time and this shit come on that’s the moment when u realize this album is not for the faint of heart. This is not the album that’s gonna turn somebody into a fan. Future sounds completely fed up on this song.
“Molly and them xans got me aggravated” why metro and esco let future mix them uppers and them downers? Once again I am concerned with Futures drug use.
Track 3: Where Ya At
I gotta come straight out the gate asking if drizzy really responsible for this verse. I can’t confidently say that in the wake of all the ghostwriter talk , so I gotta pretend that Future is the only person on this track. With that said, Future did work on all 3 verses. His voice sounds like he rapping underwater. Like he’s drowning in lean. I’m not making this shit up, I know you hear that gurgle.
Track 4: Groupies
“Bangin’ her throat in the back of a Phantom/
I’m back on that dope and I’m strapped with a hammer”
Just wanna tell yal that my shirt is off right now. I gotta take my shirt off every time groupies come on cuz I feel like I’m standing right over an open flame. Dunno how metro boomin’ managed to capture the heat of a thousand Bunsen burners but as if that wasn’t enough, future is running all over the track in a gasoline soaked space suit and the amazing thing is the Styrofoam cup hasn’t melted yet and the ice cubes we heard in the first track are still clinkin! I gotta come clean…. I think it’s fucked up how the Styrofoam cup doesn’t get a writing credit on DS2.
The first time I heard this I realized I been waiting years for someone to make this song. Whens the last time a nigga just out right said he was fuckin his groupies? Like fully admit to running thru an illustrious amount of free punani. Perhaps someone has said it before but not like this. NOT LIKE THIS. Dawg the way Future is talking about fucking groupies??? You just know he ain’t touched not a single groupie ever since he started dating Ciara. And NOW HE BACK FUCKING HIS GROUPIES B.
“I seen her pussy on IG was fat and I got it
I seen her pussy on IG, I got it”
Each time Future repeats a line twice it turns out to be one of the more relatable lines in the song, this is one of those times b. You know how many times I seen some fat pussy on IG and wanted that? This whole song just a motivational message from Mr. Hendrix because we all wanna be able to see that pussy on IG and have it delivered the same day cuz we got the money for the shipping charges.
Track 5: Lil One
Future puts on for his youngin’s. Yal prally ain’t notice but in Groupies he said “And my lil’ one get head from a groupie” this is Futures way of showing gratitude for what his lil ones are willing to do for him. What are his lil ones willing to do you ask? Well… its very simple, they keep the mask, they hold the cash, and goddamn it they very well do keep the mac on em. Gotta keep the mac on em. The adlibs on this track touch your soul because Mr. Hendrix doesn’t let you forget whom he’s referring to all through the verses; he doesn’t allow you to loose sight of how important his lil ones are to him. As a matter of fact at the end of the song its just 13 seconds straight of bruh sayin “lil one lil one lil one lil one”.
Track 6: Stick Talk
This entire album, actually fuck that, This ENTIRE year’s worth of work by Future is made worthwhile by this one single line… “I ain’t got no manners for no sluts/ I’ma put my thumb in her butt” woooo! If u never put ur thumb in shawty butt you can just skip this whole paragraph my g. I don’t want you reading none of this shit. I been had a suspicion that Future was on some freaky shit b… he got a line where he take a page, actually fuck that, a whole chapter outta the great R Kelly’s book… talm bout “She 21? Cool I can pee on her” maybe Kells and Fewcha can come together on a track? Pause. I mean musically, get together to work on music. Music.
Track 7: Freak Hoes
This one of the weaker songs on the project but I aint mad at it at all. I wouldn’t intentionally play it but I also wouldn’t go outta my way to skip it either u feel me. And future does have a fire line at the end he said “ini mini miny gotta get mo re-up” smh Future Dr. Seuss Hendrix .
Track 8: Rotation
Lots of things in this song I wanna touch on.
I’ma start with the lil shit. Firstly, why is Fewch buying all the sodas at the gas station??? This nigga never heard of Costco? Sams club? Shit nigga even Wal-Mart got them in packs! U want sodas u can go buy em in bulk my g. why u gotta inconvenience everybody else. Now lil tyrone gotta find out he ran all the way to the quicktrip for no reason.
Secondly. “I had to smash lil shawty with my jeans on, and I had my pistol in my pocket” fam. What kinda hoes is future fuckin if he can’t een let his guard down enough to take his pants off b? life gotta be different when u a trap nigga… Cuz I don’t understand at all. I got so many questions.
Track 9: Slave Master
This shit came in so fuckin smoove b god. damn. Rotation threw me for a loop but this right here whipped me back into shape. (bars!)
“I’ma try to be there if you need me, do my best to be there if you need me.” This shit is mad emotional b, and at the end he caught me by complete surprise with that long live a$ap Yams. Yams is the reason I’m even here typing this shit b, he was the first nigga to be truly funny on the internet. Long Live Yamborghini.
Track 10: Blow a Bag
The track placement is too phenomenal on this jawn bruh. I gotta give it up to whoever organized these songs because Slave Master hits you hard with that emotion, it disarms you and then Blow a Bag just comes in like BOOM! So triumphant my g you can literally feel Future’s joy and genuine exultation on this track right here. I wont lie to yal niggas, first time I played the album I was smoking loud and u know how weed makes everything more intense and shit right?… anyways.. what I’m tryna say is I dropped a lil tear on this. It wun nothing serious but a niggas face might’ve been a lil wet after listening to this. I might’ve had to go get a lil towel or whatever. Wun nothing serious tho b. don’t watch that.
Track 11: Colossal
THE. GOD. DAMN. PIANOS. ON THIS JAWN. I want the sheet music for this shit bruh! Who I gotta call? Zaytoven? Metro? Who did this shit? It sounds like Zaytoven. Hold on lemme chec—YUP. Zay if u reading this u a fool. Ay you do weddings bro? My uncle tryna renew his vows and I wanna do something special for him.
Track 12: Rich Sex
Aint. No. Way. you can convince me Future was standing up when he recorded this b. you hear that tone of voice? U can only sound like that when u layin flat on ya back. FLAT. They got Fewch layin down on them Victorian couches just serenading the mic. I bet you money his eyes were closed the whole time too. Shades on his face with eyes closed under them. Sensational.
Track 13: Blood on the Money
This shit here mainly for criminals. Idk nothing bout no blood on no money. All my bills clean. But aside from that… I feel the soul on this. “I Know the devil is real/ I know the devil is real” when I hear this line I always say a lil quick prayer. If anybody seen the devil face to face its definitely future. Every time he says a line twice he’s passing thru the 3rd dimension into the spirit world and back. Anyways this usually where I start the album over from track one but I’ma keep going just for yal sake.
Track 14: Trap Niggas
If you aint heard this song yet u been living under a very comfortable rock rent-free. I don’t know anything about praying 5 times a day to catch a plug but I can tell you about praying 5 times a day to catch a hug…. From this shawty with the fat ol ass in high school… her name was Olivia. That thing was JUICY fam. Anyways I finally got the hug, it was aight, she had a lil skin condition so she smelled like the oil she was using to treat it. I wasn’t really feeling it. Anyways, Trap Niggas. Before you brush ya teeth, strap, whatever. Yal heard all the jokes about this already I’m not gonna sit here and type shit you already seen on twitter. The fuck I look like?
Track 15: Strippers
Idk nothing about this track b I usually don’t make it this far into the tape. As far as im concerned blood on the money is the last song on DS2. This shit is 18 fucking songs long my nigga some of us have other things to do besides sitting around all day listening to future. I def skip this jawn on the regular. Its smoove tho and he paying his respects to them skrippers… he owe his entire career to them skrippers so this is definitely warranted. Cool track, It’s just not for me. This not what I’m here for.
Track 16: Real Sisters
Got nothing to say about this either b this just filler from old tapes.
Aight look. I know I said I’ma keep going for yal but I changed my mind. Yal acting like you never been lied to before. Listen, for me DS2 ended with Blood on The Money.
Whenever I play this whole thing thru it makes me wonder what’s next in store for Hendrix. I’m praying he don’t release any more music for the rest of the year. I cant imagine another project so soon after and honestly I am exhausted, we are all exhausted, I haven’t stopped dancing since last year when he dropped “im a monsta on these hoes im a monsta” that was 9 months ago. I been dancing for 9 months. I need some time to rest Future, we all do. This is an honest to god plea… we love you my nigga but we also got other things to do besides listen to your music and buy your albums. Please don’t make me choose. I’m not tryna go broke because you wanna keep dropping music.
This was fun yal. I’m bout to listen to this shit again. Peace.
– @babyboyru “please say the baby”