2013. A simpler time. Back when Barack Obama had just started his second term in office. Instagram baddies hadn’t begun selling FitTea, just asking us if we were ready to “#WakeUpNow”. We hadn’t yet begun to communicate exclusively in memes and reaction pictures, they were just an added cherry on top of a funny conversation. Also, it was the year Jahron Anthony Braithwaite aka PARTYNEXTDOOR broke out into the contemporary R&B scene. If you had asked me back then, I would have said to you that he was poised to take over for the foreseeable future. But now it’s 2017 and it’s all fucked up. We got a thicc ass sentient carrot as President. Your favorite Instagram model probably already been nipped, tucked to Bolivian and selling diarrhea teas. The English language has evolved (devolved?) into a combination of whatever keys the Apple iPhone English and Emoji keyboards provide, refried memes, and dead Vines. Most importantly, the OVO Sweatshop has claimed another career and that’s why I’m writing you today. Join me, as I examine and ultimately try to answer: “Where the PARTY At?”
So many questions float through my head on the daily. “Why God had to take Speaker Knockerz?” “Who mans is this?” “Why would you tweet this dumb shit?” “I’m pussy?” “What went thru Lil Mama head before we saw her posed up next to Jay and Alicia Keys at the VMAs?” “How’s Lil B doing?” Etc. The question I find myself revisiting the most though, is “WHY DOES JOHNNY CINCO GO SO FUCKING HARD?”
I don’t look forward to much, I like to let life surprise me. However, I been anticipating Cinco 2 since I was born. Now I know what you’re thinking, “How can he say that when he started listening to John Five last year?” Honestly, my answer to that is, fuck you bitch, stop bringing up old shit. Fucking dork.
You would feel as strongly as I do about Giovanni Cinque if you listened to “My Swagger”. The song is lean, shrooms, weed and xan all rolled into one merry melody. The song isn’t about much lyrically, typical rapper shit – staying fly, getting money, fucking – but we not here for the lyrics, we here for the beat and for how well Johnny fuses with the beat. The best thing about Johnny is how creative he gets with these songs. Sometimes producers give the same beats to different artists, and one artist plays to the production and the other flounders. If you gave out some of these Cinco beats to other rappers, few would be able to create a more fun, enjoyable, and overall great track. Cinco makes the production his.
If you wanna create a true hoverboard, harness the energy emanating from the booth as Johnny records. I guarantee he’s levitating the entire time. It’s the only explanation for why one man can float on a track so effortlessly. Of course, the background vocals provided by him take the track to another level, but the best part is at the end of the song when he fully dedicated himself to hitting them notes as the beat fades. You know he came out the booth and collapsed like Jordan after his dad died.
Cinco came out the booth and took a lean bath to recuperate.
This not a song you dab to or run off on the plug. You gotta bring back blassic ATL snap dances for this. Lean Wit’ It, Yung Joc Motorcycle dance, Stanky Leg, but most importantly, this song was made to Super Soak that hoe.
Bonus points if you can swag out like Lil Mouse.
Anyway, enough rambling from me, enjoy this fucking track and peep that outrageous ad-lib Johnny flexes at 1:53. Man goes from surprise to bewilderment to joy in milliseconds.
– Stackz Dollaz
What’s hatnin y’all? It’s ya boy Stacks back again with a new post. Now I know I been slacking on the posts and whatnot, but listen I’m cooking up some things (YO Y’ALL GOT THIS NIGGA COOKIN? YO WHO IS THIS NIGGA?), stay tuned. Anyway, I ain’t gon make this a long one I’m just here to get y’all hip to Nasty Dave. He dropped a new track recently, R W M ft. T JOD€CI (Get hip to him too if you not already). A regular degular music critic would call it R&B, but Nasty Dave has created his own genre, Durag Classics. If this not some wavy shit you can apply ya Sportin Waves, brush ya hair while you Milly Rock, & tie ya durag and get ready for a good nights sleep to, I don’t know what is. First time I listened, I broke out my durag and was halfway done tying until I realized, I’m #TeamNatural now and I was wylin.
Oooooooooh weeeeeeeeeee! It’s #LanezSeason and as usual Tory Lanez da GAWD has blessed us with a brand new project to hold us over until his next masterpiece. I been a Lanez fan since 2008, but it wasn’t until 2012 that he really began to take his talents to the next, next level. His #IgnantShit mixtape really showed us what he could do as a freestyler. A nine track tape dedicated to him bodying the hottest songs of the year so far for 3-4 minutes. In 2013, he dropped “Conflicts of My Soul: The 416 Story”. Probably his most comprehensive project to date, complete with co-production from himself. My favorite project from 2013 (just edging out PARTYNEXTDOOR), he showed us what he could do as a rapper, singer, and storyteller. Each teach flowed seamlessly into another.
Aight, y’all. Now, I’ll be the first nigga to call another nigga out on not listening to my music recommendation. I’LL BEE DAT. I’ll also be the last nigga to admit when I’m wrong. I’LL BEE DAT TOO. This post tho, it’s about both. Probably the hardest thing I ever had to do *Usher voice and emotion*. This post, ya boy gotta take the L and admit I fucked up.